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Signs You're In A Mature Relationship | SELF

If there has been a breach, is it too serious to be mended? If one or both partners is consistently tuning out, seeking distractions, and making a conscious effort to avoid making a connection, it may be that the bond between you has already been severed. People check out for all kinds of reasons--some temporary, others permanent. It's not unusual to respond defensively when you're challenged.

Over time, defensiveness shifts into the "whatever" stage, which throws up a protective isolating barrier. Wherever the need for this protective stance originates, it prevents open communication and a meaningful relationship. The most serious possible sign; once a relationship is at this point, the odds of survival are low.

20 Signs of a Toxic Relationship

It's often a way of turning one's own despised and unwanted feelings outward, so left alone it may recur in later relationships as well. Think about the relationships that are important in your life and work, and ask yourself if they have any of these qualities. If so, you need to take action. It may mean a new focus on growing together in healthier ways, or more structured communication, or a change in the ground rules.

You may need the assistance of a counselor to make things right--and you may end up needing to walk away. But with the right intervention and a commitment to success from both parties, you can end up with a newly strengthened partnership. And even if your relationship isn't as mature as you'd like, there's some good news: if you both make a commitment to growing together, it might blossom into a beautiful, adult bond that can go the distance. Here, 14 signs that your relationship is mature—or 14 goals to work towards if yours isn't quite there yet.

You can't have a mature relationship if you haven't defined whether you are, in fact, in a relationship.

10 Signs Your Relationship Will Last Forever

Of course there's that whole are-we-or-aren't-we stage that most couples go through in the beginning, and for good reason—it's a thrilling part of determining whether someone is actually right for you. But there comes a point when keeping the relationship talk off the table is holding you back from forming a truly adult connection. As in, whether you'd each like to have them. Also falling under this important-issues umbrella: where you'd like to settle down, how you both feel about marriage , whether you're open to couple's therapy when things get rough, what constitutes cheating, etc.

This isn't a go-ahead to bombard someone promising with a zillion super-serious questions. These topics usually arise naturally, so avoiding them like the plague is a giveaway you might not be in the most grown-up relationship. Or at the very least, when you do get heated and start to raise the volume, you both know to back off and take a time-out rather than potentially shouting something you can never take back.

And calling the other person names or hurling insults at each other? Definitely not an option. You both know you can't help it if someone else finds one of you attractive. As long as the person in question responds in a way that makes it clear they're off the market, neither of you freaks out or sulks, and it certainly doesn't turn into a fight. There's no room for over-the-top selfishness in your bedroom. Instead, you each care about making sure the other person feels as good as possible every time you have sex.

Because you've each made sure the other knows about your financial situations, and you spend and save with your partner's happiness and comfort in mind. They're a thing people in evolved relationships have, no matter how much they love each other.

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Whether you're sick, sad or depressed, he'll be there and you take it for granted. This is the one reason you're with each other, because you communicate without thinking, as nobody would judge nobody. Speak about anything and everything because the person in front of you will never get offended by you. It's true that the person closest to your heart knows exactly how you feel but sometimes, just sometimes, it's important to put it in words. Sometimes, actions are just not enough.

You have to say "I love you", "I miss you", "I want to see you" because you want to and the person you love the most in the whole wide world, is sometimes just waiting for that one statement.

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However, making each other feel special time and again in actions is also equally important. As much as you're good at expressing your love, if you don't prove it every once in a while, there's no proof of what you say almost every day. If you love the person, any effort won't ever feel like an effort - you'll just make an effort to make that person feel important and you won't even realise that you're broke and still spending or you're doing an illegal activity like stealing a 'blue french horn' to bring a smile to that special one's face.

It's just such a great feeling to know that you feel the same way your partner feels about you! No games being played to test the commitment, trust, jealousy and anything else that can make this relationship more of a pain. You accepted each other when both of you were a mess, with no aim in life whatsoever. Life is beyond texting, forceful meetings, saying "I love you" as a duty and losing the context in the process and talking constantly on the phone for nothing - all this means nothing to you if you're in the right relationship.


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You don't NEED to play games because you know each other - you know how you both detest cuddling, how lazy you both feel most of the times to come out of your house to hang out but at the same time, you know you both can travel miles and miles just to see each other's faces because you missed them.

Sometimes, you are more of a commitment person than your girl or vice versa, well at least you start off like that. But there comes a day when you'll start assuming that all you have is a casual relationship and that will be the test of it all until she comes up to you and confesses.

You won't rely on assumptions, you'll be straight forward about your feelings whether it's late or not and whether you're sure of the other person's feelings or not. At that point, nothing else matters. As much as you want to, you don't strangle the relationship with your own two hands.

Everyone needs space to breathe and so does your relationship.